It’s amazing how things can go from a bright smile to grumpy face.
Everything is wonderful and amazing and funny.
But then, things take a turn and it’s pouting and grumbling and just all around nastiness.
No I’m not talking about the twins.
I’m talking about me!
Sometimes, it happens. Stress, hormones, emotions, all working to kick my happy ass.
What do you do when that happens?
Here’s what I’m going to do.
1. Cuddle with my husband.
2. Hug my kids.
3. Climb into bed with a book.
4. Tell the internet all about it.
So far, I’ve done #4. And part of #2.
Off to finish the list.
When I set out to make a New Year’s resolution, I had one thought. BE AWESOME.
There have been many times where I could kick myself for failing to be awesome at something. For half-assing it. It’s easy to get into the bad habit of half-assing things when you become overwhelmed with life.
Actually, sometimes that’s ok. Because when I’m super busy juggling the working mom wife life, and there are so many balls in the air, half-assing IS the excellence you can do. The laundry piles up, the dishes don’t get washed, the meal comes from take-out, because all you can manage that day is cuddling your kids and reading a book.
But it’s too easy for me to slide from prioritizing those cuddles and fun things to totally ignoring all the other things. And that’s not awesome.
I’m also easily overwhelmed by things and worry about screwing up or doing things right that I am super great at procrastinating. Which is also not awesome.
Have I mentioned my Anxiety diagnosis? Meds are helpful. But they don’t work alone.
So, I’m taking steps to help me go for it.
First of all, I bought a new planner. When my smartphone became my bff, I ditched the old school paper Franklin planner I used to use. And google calendar helped that. But having a simple weekly planner will help keep me on track because I can keep it open at work to remind me that I’ve got shit to do! And be awesome at! Also, physically writing things down and crossing them off helps me to focus my head on the work instead of all the balls in the air. It sets them up so my brain can see them.
The other thing is I’m going to try an online To Do List manager. So, far I’m using todoist. This would be awesome if my work email allowed plugins but they don’t. But I can still use a web format. I also keep track of work things on a spreadsheet so I don’t lose track of things. This is my biggest challenge is letting things fall through the cracks. Again, when I get overwhelmed, I tend to stop updating to do lists and spreadsheets but they work. So, to Be Awesome, I need to keep it up.
I had a physical last month. And I’m reminded that I have been less than awesome at being healthy. So, whatever I do, I need to do better. So, I’m doing these three things: Drink more water and take my meds, Make appointments with myself to move my body, Be mindful of my food choices. Nothing too drastic so that I’m set up to fail. This is about the long haul.
The one area I really try to dedicate awesomeness to is my relationships. With my husband, my kids, and my friends. Being thankful for them and giving them attention is how I’m awesome. Not to say I don’t fail ever, but talking things out and an apology goes a long way. As well as focusing on those that I hold close.
Finally, I will celebrate. Because taking time to laugh, dance, party, hug, and be joyous is the best part of Being Awesome.
Oh, and one more thing, if at any time I’m not feeling like I’m being so awesome, I will give myself a break. Taking care of me is also being awesome.
Remember those old school “journaling” memes? I always loved this one.
1. What did you do in 2014 that you’ve never done before?
Wow. I’m having a hard time coming up with this one. I need to do new things more often this year. There must have been something new I did last year.
Ok. Here it is. Marco and I went away for a night without any of the kids for the first time. We spent one night in Santa Barbara for my friend’s wedding.
Oh and hey, it counts as a double new thing, because it was the first wedding I’ve attended where there were two brides because California finally realized Love is Love.
2. Did you keep your resolutions? Will you make new ones this year?
If I did keep any, it was totally unintentional. Because I don’t remember making any.
This year, my only resolution is to Be Awesome. If I’m not feeling awesome, then it’s up to me to change it. I write the story here.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No one close to me gave birth in 2014. But in late 2013 my stepdaughter (long time readers remember her) had a baby girl. She just turned a year old and I love that she calls me for mommy advice.
I need to see them more in 2015. And my stepson and his little girl too.
I already know of one baby to come in 2015 which is awesome! I’m so happy for my friend.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully no. I need everyone in my life to stay alive please.
5. What countries did you visit?
Ha. I’ve visited many places in my imagination. One of these days, we will travel to all the places we’ve talked about. Like Paris. And Madrid. And all over Italy.
6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you didn’t have in 2014?
A healthy me. One of the main things I need to Be Awesome about.
7. What dates in 2014 remain etched in your memory and why?
November 7. Because number one, it’s Marco’s birthday. So it’s always a fabulous day to celebrate him. But also because this year, Mel came for a visit and we had a weekend of awesome that I want to happen over and over. I couldn’t love Mel more. Meeeel!!!
Also, December 6. Our anniversary. We were able to go to dinner just the two of us and had a fantastic time. We really do enjoy each other’s company.
8. What was your biggest achievement this year?
Again, I’m having trouble thinking of something that’s outstanding. Pretty much every day my biggest achievement is my girls. I’m amazed by them constantly.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I still let anxiety keep me from accomplishing things. I’m working on it. Always.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I fell on my way into my office building at work. Got some worker’s comp appointments and physical therapy.
I had kidney stone episodes again last year. I really need to drink more water every day. Add that to #9.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
We got a smart tv. Which is awesome. But also, a dangerous thing because I can end up bingewatching all dang day.
I also upgraded to a Samsung Galaxy s5. I love my phone.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Gabi has matured a lot in the past year. She’s really become an awesome big sister. And she is trying hard in school and at home. I love to see her try new things. She’s a pretty cool kid.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
On the whole, there have been so many instances where mankind in general can use a time out. Ferguson, New York, all the people hating on immigrant children trying to escape violence, and more. It’s all awful.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Too much of it went to convenience foods and eating out. It’s something I need to change.
15. What did you get really excited about?
BlogHer, Mel’s visit, My inlaws visiting for the holidays, My kids’ birthdays, Oscar movie madness, My friend’s wedding in Santa Barbara, Knott’s Berry Farm, More Grey’s Anatomy.
16. What song will always remind you of 2014?
Chandelier by Sia.
I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I’m gonna live like tomorrow doesn’t exist
Like it doesn’t exist..
A perfect Anniversary.
Dinner at Scardinos.
Caesar salad, pumpkin ravioli, tiramisu, Pinot Grigio.
Notting Hill on our tv, snuggling on the couch.