A perfect anniversary

A perfect Anniversary.

Dinner at Scardinos.

Caesar salad, pumpkin ravioli, tiramisu, Pinot Grigio.

Notting Hill on our tv, snuggling on the couch.

Love.



On Racism

When I was a little kid, about 9 years old I think, I made the major mistake of using a word that I regret to this day. It was a word that I don’t think I’ve ever repeated since. The N-word.
At the time, I did not realize the ramifications on those I aimed it at.  I was repeating a rhyme that I had learned with a cousin. Trying to be funny.  But it wasn’t.
The boy whom I insulted had an older sister. She had walked up just in time to hear my sing song rhyme.
She walked right over to me. And I got an earful. At the time, I was mortified. She was a popular, older, smart, pretty black girl. I apologized to her and her brother. It was an important lesson that I never forgot. I was so embarrassed and ashamed.
One of the things she explained was that black people get labeled and categorically discriminated against just because of their skin color. And I knew this because of the occasional lessons in school about Martin Luther King but it was the first time for me to be aware of it in real life.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that...
Tonight I was talking to my 12 year old about what happened in Ferguson. She has very strong opinions about what’s right and fair. We talked about society and racism and how blacks, especially young black men, have been suspected, arrested, and shot because they are seen as “thugs.”
We talked about what can be done to make life better in this country. That we have the responsibility to vote, to reach out, and even run for office to make a change. We talked about school social life. And how friends treat each other.
And I remembered Stacie. The neighbor that taught me that lesson long ago. And I was thankful. Because she spoke up, I learned to be better.
People are going to be racist. Because it exists socially and systemically. But we can’t just turn a blind eye. We have to do better. And speak up.


When Friends Visit

Oh hi! It’s still November right? Ok, so I missed a few days of the blogging every day thing. But I had my best “fronds”* over my house for the weekend and there was lots of fun to be had. And then everyone left and I needed to crawl in a ball and cry and watch sad movies to get past the letdown. Plus all that mothering and wifeing to be done. And oh yeah, my job.

So anyways, here’s what I have to say about last weekend.
1. Having friends to hug in person is so much better than saying “hug” in messages.
Lex and Mel
2. My children are equally smitten with my girlfriends as my friends are with them.
Mel-and-Sarita-sillyEmmie-and-SaraAuntie-Meel-fun
3. When you have an agenda for a fun weekend, the best part is making that agenda flexible by doing almost entirely different things.
4. Some movies of your childhood are best left as a memory.
midnightmadness
5. My dog was in heaven with all the extra loving from my friends. I mean it’s not like she’s not surrounded by love all the time. But my dog is a glutton for love. And treats.
6. When you’re up late eating, drinking, and talking there comes a point where everything is hilarious. And then things get even funnier. And then ridiculous.
7. When Lex gives her favorite friends a driving tour of LA, they may just get a glimpse at the buildings that house a certain show that her babies are on. And a driving tour of one of the times that a scene was shot offsite. Perhaps that happened.
8. When you decide it would be cool to drive up to the Griffith Observatory to show your friends the perfect view of all of LA, you should note that everyone else decides to do the same at sunset on a clear day. So, decide, just how important is getting to that view, and if you’re willing to wait through the line of cars going up the road. Note, we turned around pointed out the window to a view that was almost as good.
9. Yes you absolutely can make a dinner completely made of appetizers and cocktails. And everyone will like it.
10. If you bake a batch of “period” cookies, they will be gone in two days.**
Lex's famous chocolate chip cookies

Lex’s famous chocolate chip cookies

11. We always joke about the need for a bail fund. We should also add a moving fund for Mel who lives across the country. We need her here. And perhaps make an actual bail fund. Just in case.
12. When you have a team of “aunties” helping with the potty training, you would think that means success. You would be wrong. Stubborn kids.

I get to spend the weekend with these faces 💜💜 #thessc8

A photo posted by Melissa Lynn (@justonemiss) on

13. Your always full house seems awfully empty now that all my friends are gone. This past weekend, we agreed that we are in favor of friends visiting often. Perhaps we should open a bed and breakfast some day. Some place near an orchard. With deer.
14. Come back soon my fronds!

 

I get to spend the weekend with these faces 💜💜 #thessc8

A photo posted by Melissa Lynn (@justonemiss) on

*”Fronds” what we affectionately call ourselves after I had an autocorrect on twitter for “friends.”
**I started making “period” cookies for my daughter to help soothe the monthly beast. It’s now a ritual.


The man I love

1. He loves me in a perfect way. Not the kind of love that is disgustingly mushy, but perfectly mushy. I never feel unloved.

2. When we were 20 years old, we had our first kiss. Under the starlit sky outside the Desmond Dorm at LMU. It was always the most memorable first kiss I ever had. Fireworks. 20 years later, when we kissed again outside of Starbucks in the Marina, it was just like the first time. Fireworks.

3. Before we became a “thing” back in college, Marco was my friend. My confidant. But he was falling for me fast. For Christmas that year, I thought he might get me something sweet and romantic. And I was kind of afraid because at that time I had a different boyfriend. He did give me a great gift. A vacuum cleaner. Because I mentioned that I needed one for my college apartment. I used that vacuum cleaner for years. It was pretty romantic in hindsight.

4. He loves sushi. I do not. But we make it work. Tempura is awesome.

5. He also loves peanut butter. I like it. But he looooves it.

6. There was a day where I was hanging out in his dorm room. His mom called him and he talked to her and made me say hi to her. And then he told her that some day he was going to marry me. Turns out he was right. It just took a detour.

7. He used to make me mixed tapes. I still have one that he gave me from 1991.

8. I can take him anywhere. He’s comfortable around my friends and they love him. It was that way in college and it’s that way now.

9. I loved him already so much. But seeing him love our girls, the ones I already had, and the way he fathered our tiny babies while they were still in the womb, I know how blessed I am to have him. I never had to ask him to be a parent. He just is.

10. He’s supportive in everything I try to do. From my career, to my writing, to just being me. I know I can always have him in my corner.

11. Today is his birthday. Happy birthday Marco! I love you so much. I hope this made you smile.

p.s. I intended this list to be longer, but I might have had a little too much to drink and I’m afraid of what I might reveal if I keep typing. ❤