After being on this planet for 40+ years, you’d think I would have learned a few things that would stick in my brain. But my brain plus my life work mysteriously and I find myself repeating a few lessons now and then. Such has been my life this lately
1. When Anxiety Rears Its Ugly Head, Remember How to Cope
I had a big THING due this week at work. It’s the type of thing I’ve done at least 50 times in my career, so it shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. However, I just started this new job in May. So I was doing the THING with all new material and subject matter. Add to that my fear of failing. Plus my need to prove to the powers that be that -Yes! You made an awesome choice in hiring me!- And you get one panicked stressed out Lex. I was having nightmares. I would wake up in the middle of the night with my heart racing. Finally, the THING due date came. And I did it. Met the deadline. Was even complimented by a colleague at how great it was that I pulled it together in the short amount of time I was here. the short amount of time I’ve been here.
I wasted a lot of time being anxious and stressed out. All because I lost confidence. As time moves on in this job, there are going to be a lot of new assignments, and I need to do better with coping with my fears.
2. He Can’t Really Read Your Mind (well, not all of the time).
Marco and I joke because so often we say the same thing or text the same thing to each other. We are in sync much of the time. But, I recently had to remember that this doesn’t excuse us from the actual communication it takes to make things work. And though I might make you or Twitter believe that he is the most perfect person there is (for me), sometimes, I might not like something he does or says. And, guess what? My pouting and semi-silent treatment did nothing to communicate to him that he was in the doghouse. He thought that I was just tired (yes) and stressed (yes, see #1 above). So, finally, I told him, you hurt my feelings, blah blah… and he didn’t even realize! He sincerely apologized and we talked it out and kissed it all better. Had I decided to continue my semi-silent sulking and not say anything, I would have gone on to work all hurt and cranky. I’m so glad I didn’t put myself through that! Communication, good. Silent treatment, bad. Got it.
3. Scales Are Not The Enemy
I stepped on a scale recently for the first time in a long time. And I believe my eyes bugged out of my head at the extremely too high number. What in the hell?! Sure, my pants were fitting tight and my favorite button down shirt was getting pushed to the back of the closet. But I had no idea things had gotten so out of hand. I haven’t been this heavy ever, without a human in my womb. Ack!
There was a time when I used to weigh myself every day. That was when I was consistently losing weight until I settled on a happy Lex zone and it was good. Then I moved and the scale batteries died or something. And then I had twins. And then it was all yummy food let’s make those cupcakes! and put cheese on that! and cheesecake! oh my God!
So we bought a new scale, and that’s when the slap in the face woke me up. Since then, I’ve weighed myself nearly every day and I’ve lost 2 pounds in a week.
4. Mammograms Are Fun!
You didn’t believe that one, right? Well, ok, not “fun.”
But it wasn’t bad. Uncomfortable? yes. Weird? definitely.
And at 40+ years of age, it’s just another fact of life. Go in, have the nice lady lift my boob onto the plate, and she lowers the top plate on top, tightens the plates together, pushes the button, and relieves the squishing after the buzz stops. Repeat. Turn and repeat twice more. No biggy.
Though I could have done without her suggestion that I couldn’t and surely Marco couldn’t possibly be satisfied with four girls and we aren’t going to try for a boy? What the hell, lady? Just do the boob squeezing and leave our family planning to us. Thank you.