Well, I’m going to go to Fashion Design School, anyway.
What? Since, when?
Since I decided.
What happened to wanting to be an animator?
Mom, I was 7.
You were pretty sure abou it.
I changed my mind.
Since I started liking sewing. I decided to become a Fashion Designer.
So, I have to go to Fashion Design school…. instead of LMU
How does this happen?
You have a baby. You hold her in your arms. And you plan her life out for her in those first few moments.
And along the way, the baby grows into a child. And the child gets exposed to life. And learns what she likes. And what she wants.
There goes your vision.
I looked at Marco and with one expression said, OH MY GOD! WHAT? HOW? NO! WHAT?
(not that there is anything wrong with being a fashion designer but it was not in my vision!)
And then he looked at me and laughed.
Babe, she’s 11.
Her troop made dresses for Little Dresses for Africa
I got to the school before classes let out, and waited for her right outside of her classroom. She saw me through the window, a huge smile and wave, MOM!
As soon as she was excused from class we hurried to the girls bathroom and I gave her the bag with her costume. Bright orange shirt and purple leggings. I had sewn fins onto some fingerless gloves. She was so excited, she was ready in a flash!
We hurried toward the auditorium, and she turned to me,
Mom, I think I could cry!
Yes! I have to fight the tears back because I’m so excited!
Last fall, she started the after school drama class. She had fun, sure. But on performance day, she had been more nervous than anything. She was a little scared and during the performance she held back quite a bit.
Today, she was just beaming! I loved seeing her so happy!
She wasn’t a main character. Part of a group of humming-fish that shared lines. But at one part she got to run to the front and she was most excited about that. She had raised her hand first for that privilege. A big change from last fall when she just wanted to blend in.
But I think my favorite part was when they took their bows. She was so proud of herself.
She wants to do drama camp this summer. And sign up again for next fall after school.
The confidence she had in herself today made my heart swell.
Not feeling myself today.
I woke up this morning feeling very groggy. Like I barely slept at all. I thought maybe it was all the wine.
I realized as I was making breakfast, it was more than that. I was feeling kind of lightheaded. I thought maybe I just needed coffee.
A little while later, I noticed my ears felt really clogged. Pressure. Like I was under water.
I felt like this the whole day. Just off. And underwater.
A headache in the afternoon, but that went away when I took my ponytail out.
Then I remembered I didn’t take my blood pressure meds like I should have all week. So I took a dose. And I took my bp with my home pressure checker. Barely even on the high end. 130/87. Nothing that would cause me to feel like this.
Dr. Google was no help at all. Neither was twitter.
I’m hoping a good night’s sleep will take care of it.
Because I really don’t want to go to the doctor on the weekend. Or ever, really.
I remember driving across the border with my family. Cherished family memories of playing in the beach in Rosarito.
The food we ate. The paletas and fresh fruits. The delicious seafood. The first time I learned I liked shrimp and lobster.
I can remember the condo we stayed in. Playing board games and card games on the patio enjoying the ocean breeze.
It was a time when I remember having what is now known as “quality” time as a family.
It was the best way of being connected to Mexico and immersed in a Spanish environment. There is no question that those trips helped me retain the language.
It was something I wanted to continue as a mom. I was fortunate to be able to take my older girls to Mexico a few years ago. We loved it. It was a tangible way to teach them about our culture.
My older daughter was excited to learn new words in Spanish. She still asks, “when are we going back to the casita at the beach?” She still asks about returning to Aguascalientes to visit family. I hope she never forgets those trips.
The world is changing. It isn’t so easy to plan a last minute trip down south. And to be frank, it’s not as safe.
The violence and crime in Mexico has escalated. I have a few family members who recently were victims of burglary and even kidnapping. And even more recently, a cousin was killed while crossing the border in Tijuana.
He was a young, kind and vibrant person. His family is completely heartbroken. The media has speculated all kinds of motives. But the truth is, he was an American living in Mexico driving to work as he did every day.
And the killer walked right up to him, riddled the vehicle with bullets and ran away. Surrounded by other cars. And, you would think, some law enforcement. But the killer got away onfoot.
I pray for an end to the violence in Mexico. For peace. I pray for my extended family and yours.
Rest in peace, dear primo.