This is 46? This can’t be right.

I haven’t been myself lately. Something is not quite right. 

 

Perimenopause can suck it. 

 
I had a birthday a few weeks ago. It was lovely. A day of celebration for Mother’s Day as well. A double celebration. Family, food and love. 
 
But underneath the smiles and hugs, I was struggling to stay afloat. It was an irrational sadness. Like someone was stepping on my happy self. 
 
None of the happy things I like to do was helping. I wasn’t even interested in them. 
 
I had no patience for anything. Downright grouchy. Susceptible to bursting in to tears or growling at someone at any moment.
 
 
I really wanted to just curl up under a blanket and read or watch movies. I wanted a cocoon, where I could hide from life for a few weeks. 
 
Of course, being who I am, that’s not exactly a wise plan of action. Or inaction. I have things to do. I don’t have time for a long term funk! 
 
Nevertheless, the funk was hanging on tight. I just couldn’t shake the cloud I was under. And then to kick things up a notch, my anxiety decided to climb aboard. It was a party for my emotional dysfunctions. 
 
I was holding on to gratitude like a life-raft. Just focus on the good things and keep going, Lex. 
 
I thought maybe I need to go to counseling. I was getting annoyed with myself. 
 
And then. 
 
Finally I emerged from the drowning despair. 
 
I realized the culprit in this puzzle. 
 
 
 
 

Hormones. 

 
My god, how long is this going to last? As if the hot flashes aren’t bad enough?
 
As if living through years of monthly cramps, headaches, dealing with periods, pregnancy, and postpartum aren’t bad enough for us women? This is quite the bitter cherry on top. 
 
Well, at least I know I’m not going crazy. 
 
But oh wait, it’s starting all over again. Here come the hormones. 
 
And the grouch. 
 
Hormonal Lex

Back Away Slowly

 
Please tell me I’m not crazy. This is a real thing right? What can I do besides just smile through it and hope for the best? 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Suebob says:

    Nope, it isn’t just you. I suffered through most of last year feeling just awful, grumpy or blank. I did not enjoy anything. I was just…existing. My doc had told me that hormone replacement was kind of a last resort. So last summer, when I was working at home upstairs with no AC and it was 96 in the daytime and 75 at night, I was having 2-3 hot flashes per hour. It was so gross and sweaty and miserable. I also got nausea with each hot flash.

    It wasn’t until I told my doc, “I’m not sleeping,” that she thought to prescribe the hormones. In 3 weeks, I was like a different person. Now I still have maybe one hot flash per day, which I can handle.

    When I told her “I just don’t feel like myself,” she said “That’s what all menopausal women say to me.”

    So yeah. If you can do it without hormones, good for you. For me, I could not. I honestly thought I was losing my mind.

  2. Dariela says:

    I’m turning 45 this year and just went to see my doctor who told me I was probably already in perimenopause. I feel exactamente como tu dices!!!!! Es horrible, I’m not my happy self and I feel depressed inside many days for nothing. I’m going to try taking specific vitamins according to what my body needs the most right now. Taking a blood test to find that out will help. Another stage to go through as women! And we’re not the first ones, but it helps to know that we’re not alone! If you find a great solution, let us know!!

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