It started with shoulder pain. And then some tingling in my left hand sometime last week. Over the next few days it got worse, not better.

By Friday my right hand was feeling a little tingly too.

Maybe it’s carpal tunnel.

Maybe it’s worse. Googled Heart Attack Signs for Women…

Convinced myself I was dying.

Maybe it’s a tumor.

Marco talked me down from the ledge. By the time I got home from work, I was feeling better. Thought, I’ll go to urgent care tomorrow if my shoulder is still bothering me.

Took it easy on Saturday. The tingling still there. Didn’t have much strength in my left arm.

During the day, we were busy, so I never did make it to Urgent Care. Took a motrin. I probably should have gone, but we had plans for a date night, early dinner. Marco tried to massage the spot on my back/shoulder. I screamed. OUCH!

Ok it’s probably not a heart attack. My back/shoulder hurt like hell though. Carrying almost 40 pound twins will do that.

Got up super early this morning and took the twins to Knotts.

The tingling still in my arm, both hands. and now my legs too.

Surely I’m dying.

I envisioned paramedics having to take me away from the park.

Had some fun taking the twins around Camp Spooky.

Realizing my strength was not what it should be. Am I feeling short of breath? I am, I think. Why am I so clammy?

After we leave, I should definitely go to urgent care.

The twins were having fun, paramedics would ruin this experience.

View this post on Instagram

Fun at #CampSpooky @knotts

A post shared by Lexi (@laprimera) on

Soon the twins were cranky and wiped out.

And I was still  feeling all the symptoms. Plus my chest was kind of achy. What if I have a blockage somewhere. Isn’t heart disease the silent killer among women? Oh God, I’m dying, right?

I called my sister as we left the park, she suggested I go directly to the ER and not wait to get into urgent care. She met me there so Marco could take the cranky twins home.

I’m happy to report that the very cute, super nice doctor assured me that I was not dying. He did an EKG to make sure. But he said the symptoms I’m having are typical to panic attacks and anxiety. Also the muscle strain in my back/shoulder area. Am I under stress by any chance?

HA and also, HA HA!

Blood pressure was a little high, but that was likely due to my imagined imminent death.

A little valium and a huge nap, and I’m feeling a little better.

Time to go back to the psych and counseling center.

Anxiety is stupid. But it’s not imaginary and I have to do something about it.

My poor Isa gets it from me.


Photo on 10-6-13 at 8.15 PM
Watching the Dodgers Win with Sarita!

The good thing is, no one is dying.

This Post Has 1 Comment

  1. Tania says:

    Well I am glad you weren’t having a heart attack. I deal with anxiety, too, combined with depression – particularly seasonal affect disorder. I hate where I live in from October through March. So many people think they understand, but I don’t think you really can until you’ve experienced it. I’ve definitely had attacks like you described. I hope you can find a treatment plan that works. If you ever want to chat, you can email me or tweet me.

Leave A Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.