Raw

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he said, holding me in his arms.

“I don’t know.” The tears pouring out of my eyes. “Nothing. Everything.”

It’s like the sunshine went away inside.

Part of me

I smile at my girls doing silly things. Their beauty, their humor, their intelligence all bring a momentary smile.

But underneath, my smile isn’t piercing this sadness.

I’m having a sad day.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

You know this isn’t real.

You know everything is more than ok.

You love your life. Stop it.

But the sunshine is still hiding.

So let it out. Cry. Sulk.

Everyone has days like this right? Is this depression? Two year post partum? Is that a thing?

It’s just one day.

Tomorrow will be better.

Maybe I just need to cry a little.

Postscript – I wrote this earlier today. I’m feeling much better now. I haven’t felt like that in a long time. I don’t know what triggered it.   But I had a nice evening laughing with Marco. So much better. 



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