Time

Two hours from now, I will turn 43. Well actually, more like 24 hours since I was born at 10:30 art night. I remember when I thought 43 was OLD!

 

Birthday Cake

Happy Birthday to Me!

Well, I guess it still is. Ha! I don’t feel old. But sometimes I look at pictures of myself, or my reflection in the mirror and do a double take. Where’d that line come from? Or why do I look so blurry? Where are my glasses anyway?

I look at my girls and see that time had flown. Weren’t they just tiny babies. I really can’t get Isa on my lap anymore. Gabi just barely. A twin takes up my whole lap because neither wants to share.

This morning, we measured Isa’s height. She grew another inch in the last couple months! She’s 5’2½”! She’s only 11! She’s going to pass me up for sure. I look at her and see myself at that age. Everyone saying how tall I was. And compared to my mom who’s 5’2″, I am tall! Didn’t I just have Isa? I’ve been blogging in some way since before she was born. Raise your hand if you remember baby Isa…

Back then I was such a nervous mom. I worried too much. I consulted all the books for answers. Checked out websites for what to do and when to do it. With time, I’ve learned to trust my instincts. I’ve let go of the books. I try to enjoy the moments.

Gabi’s babyhood flew by. I was a single mom just holding on to life. Trying to find joy in just being. She was such a happy baby. She lives for me to tell her about when she was a baby. I do too.

Tonight, the twins were supposed to be sleeping. Instead just a few minutes ago, they were rolling around on my bed singing Happy Birthday to me. They’ve picked up on the fact that I have a birthday and know the song should be sung.

They just pick up on things. I worry less about the right time that milestones should be reached and just let them be. And I get to enjoy moments just like this.

I used to fear growing older. Afraid of the next step. In my 43 years, I’ve learned that’s no way to live. Instead of fear, I feel appreciation. I get to live this incredible life that I get to create for myself. Fear? I don’t need that. Gratitude, that’s my fear killer. Happiness, now that’s what I hold on to.

This is Day 7 in the #PostADayinMay challenge I set for myself. Also known as #BlogEveryDayInMay in the challenge set by Jenni at Story Of My Life. Today’s blog prompt is  – The thing(s) you’re most afraid of



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