1. Gravity becomes important. You get reminded every time you get up from lying down or sitting and you have to suddenly pee with a vengeance. And you are lucky if you make it in time before a drop escapes. And if you happen to cough or sneeze? Forget about it. Change your panties. And do your kegels.
2. While we are on the subject, invest in a good plunger. Taking extra iron twice a day may be good for the babies but harsh on the plumbing. Stool softener tablets sound like something an old person needs. If the old person were a doubly pregnant 40 year old.
3. All those extra vitamins will lead to good things… like shiny healthy hair and pretty nails. But it will also mean you have to trim those nails more often. When you don’t have a budget for a weekly mani-pedi this proves to be a challenge when you cannot reach your toe nails very easily.
4. Also, a personal trimmer is your friend. Also a mirror because going at that area blind is not advised. Trust me on this.
5. Also, tweezers… a Fu Man Chu look will try its hardest to manifest on your face. Tweezing can barely keep up. Plus, Nads pen and strips are great for when tweezing is just not enough.
6. You can be full of energy and do one thing and need a nap. Trust me, most days that one thing should be a shower.
7. The doctor saying modified bedrest at 26 weeks is perfect timing to stop working. Because your body will demand to be horizontal for the majority of the day. You might as well follow the doctor’s recommendation to lie on your left side since you’re lying down anyway.
8. If you weren’t the pillow hog in the relationship before, you will be now. Just go ahead and buy a few more now. Plus the U shaped body pillow.
9. When the doctor says no more sex, you will become the randiest person ever. And there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Except maybe joke about it. Which kind of makes it worse but at least you laugh. And a laugh is like a tiny little orgasm. Ok, maybe not. But it will make you feel better to think it is.
10. This list could go on and on… but ending it here with the one true thing that makes anything else endurable… Babies! At the end of this, there will be two beautiful babies!