I was going to do that whole blog every day in May thing. Being my birthday month and all, I thought it would be the perfect time to get my blogging self back into the habit.
So that didn’t really work.
On my birthday, I was going to do this whole I’m forty and how fabulous forty is and rah rah I’m forty.
That didn’t work either.
And of course Mother’s Day. That totally deserved a mushy post of how tears sprung to my eyes at the I love mom card and poem that Isa gave me. And the hand print tea towel Gabi made at school. And the roses from Marco and the girls. And my pretty purple necklace.
But I didn’t make that happen either. Ten days into the month, two days post 40, and 1 day after Mother’s day, I’m finally setting my fingers to the keyboard.
Because, I was totally unprepared for the funk that forty has brought. I mean I knew I was turning forty. It’s not like I’d forgotten how to count. 39… yup.,.. 40. That’s what comes next.
So, why on earth have I been in a big grumpy frumpy funk about it?
I can think of lots of reasons. None too drastic, though. All at the heart of the big tock clicking, I guess.
And then there’s PMS which totally doesn’t help anything at all. The bitch of getting older is that my hormones have turned on me and I’m more “PMS-ey” than I have ever been.
But my birthday was not without greatness.
People all over twitter and facebook took time to post very nice happy birthday wishes. You all hold a special place in my heart. Especially the ones that made me laugh in the middle of my funky forty fest.
Marco and I had breakfast with my girls before taking them to their father’s house. After that, we did a little shopping for us all. New dresses and sandeles for me and the girls. A new shirt for Marco. From there, we met up with my parents for an afternoon showing of Iron Man 2.
In the evening, I went out with my Marco and met up with Megan and Miss and celebrated by watching UFC. Weird. Totally not what I would have thought I’d do on my birthday ever. But you know what? It was fun! Just goes to show, don’t count out anything. I might even be persuaded to watch again next moth or whenever the ultimate match happens again. Or the next one after that. I kinda liked it. [So much that I lost my mind and left my thoughtful presents at the table and I’m so sad about that but we’re concentrating on the good stuff so I’m just gonna say that I hate that I did that and… Big Pitiful Sadface… totally sucks.]
I ended up spending all morning in bed on Mothers day. Slightly hungover. I’m such a lightweight in my old age. I only had three drinks over a 5 hour period. I think it was the pomegranate martini that did me in at the end of the evening. So it was a good thing that my parents cancelled the brunch plan and we changed to dinner plan.
I was still in my funk throughout dinner, but the food was so good and I tried to enjoy myself. The great thing about having Marco in our lives, is that we are a true family. He has picked up the dad role and become my side by side parent with the girls. This was so helpful while I was being moody and got home and went straight to bed while he got the girls ready and tucked them in to bed. Having some “me” time on Mothers day really helped me kick the funk in the ass.
Because when it comes down to it, I’m pretty damn grateful to have this life at 40. And maybe things aren’t “perfect.” But really, is anything ever perfect? It’s through life’s trials that we can appreciate the joy. I was reminded when my sister sent me this message to my blackberry as I was settling down in bed:
<i>“It’s so great to see how much Marco loves you and the girls. And to see you so happy. ♥” </i>
So yeah, 40 and fabulous. I’ll take it!