check myself

see this pretty face?

see this pretty face?

Morning routines around Casa Primera can get a little crazy.  It’s not uncommon for me to be barking orders to the girls, tripping over things, running back into the house for forgotten items.  It’s my least favorite time of day.

First of all, I am SOOOO NOT a morning person!

And the little apples don’t fall far from the tree.  Well, at least the smallest apple.

And this morning sucked hard.  The time change slapped me across the face bigtime.

I got up late.  And Gabi was a total zombie.  I yelled at her repeatedly, as I ran around throwing my own clothes on, brushing teeth, getting my coffee, throwing my hair up in a ponytail.  The clocked ticked on and Isa was going to be late.  So I grabbed the barely awake little one and carried her in pj’s and bare feet to the car so we could make it to Isa’s school at the last second of drop off.

We came back home to finish, and Gabi refused to wear what I had picked out for her.  She wanted something “pwetty.”

And then I lost it.  Mean mama came out, and I yelled at her to get to her room and pick out whatever pwetty thing she wanted because I did not have time for her antics.

Certainly it’s not the first time I’ve yelled at my kids.  But this morning?  I was beyond my limit.  I’m surprised the house wasn’t shaking, I was so angry.

Gabi ran to the kitchen, full on crying trying to catch her breath.  And I yelled some more, “why are you in the kitchen?!!! I said, go to your room and find something to wear!  Why are you in the kitchen?!!!”

And then she said it.

“you’re scaring me.”

Shit.

And I flashed to the many times I saw their father yell at Isa and at my stepkids.  And how they feared him.  And I didn’t want to be that kind of parent.  I couldn’t change him.  But I can change me.

I picked her up, and took her to her room, and just sat on her bed holding her for a few minutes.  She tried to wiggle away at first. But finally she buried her head in my chest and calmed down.

We both calmed down.

And I talked to her about having to do what she’s supposed to do in the morning.  And that I didn’t want her to be scared of me.  But that I need her to be responsible for making sure she doesn’t make us all late.

Tonight, she put on her pj’s herself.  We picked out what she’s going to wear in the morning.  And I reminded her of our talk this morning and that she has to get up when I tell her to.

Shit.  I’m almost 40 and I still suck at getting my ass out of bed and ready on time.  How can I yell at a 3 year old about it?  I should go pick out my clothes for tomorrow and set the coffee timer now.



This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. mel says:

    I’m so with you. It’s hard to get consistent when you are not a morning person. I’ve yelled more times than I’d like to admit. You feel like shit after when you kid runs from you in tears. You did good though. You talked to her about it immediately and set a good routine. We have Haley take her clothes out the night before and she has somewhat of a morning routine (dressed, wash face, comb hair, breakfast then brush teeth). The sad thing is I still don’t have one for me and I agree we need to lead by example.

  2. I’ve blown up many a time and it sucks everytime but it happens. And they forgive us. Don’t beat yourself up about it…but you’re on the right track. You realized it and you have a plan to combat it from now on. xo.
    .-= Becky @TheRealBecks´s last blog ..Photo bliss =-.

  3. Alexandra says:

    Did you get it yet???
    .-= Alexandra´s last blog ..the knuckle head =-.

  4. jenn says:

    I totally get the morning thing. I’m so not a morning person and I’m always running late. If I’m going to get impatient at Shiloh, it will be in the morning. It doesn’t seem fair that I get upset at her when it’s my fault for getting up late to begin with, but I do.
    .-= jenn´s last blog ..Advice? =-.

  5. mrs4444 says:

    I really, really love that she could tell you that. That right there is awesome stuff. We’re human; we make mistakes. Good for you for fixing it.

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